An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air, then opened its mouth to swallow both. As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, “Oh, my God! Help … Read more
A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established hair cutters’ place. They put up a big bold sign which read: “WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!” Not to be outdone, the old master barber put up his own sign: “WE FIX SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!”
Our neighbors gave us a pumpkin pie as a holiday gift. As lovely as the gesture was, it was clear from the first bite that the pie tasted bad. It was so inedible that we had to throw it away. Ever gracious and tactful, my wife sent the neighbors a note. It read: “Thank you … Read more
A lawyer’s dog is having a great time running around the neighborhood unleashed — it heads directly to the butcher shop and pilfers a roast. The butcher heads over to the lawyer’s office and asks, “If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand … Read more
Little Johnny asks the teacher, “Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven’t done?” Mrs Roberts is shocked, “Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair.” Little Johnny is relieved, “Okay, Mrs Roberts, good to know. By the way, I didn’t do my homework last night.”
A little boy’s birthday gift from Grandma was a water pistol. Mom said to Grandma, “I’m surprised at you. Don’t you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?” Grandma grinned. “Oh, yes, I certainly do.”
One day, an employee received an unusually large check. She decided not to say anything about it. The following week, her check was for less that the normal amount, and she confronted her boss. “How come,” the supervisor inquired, “you didn’t say anything when you were overpaid?” Unperturbed, the employee replied, “Well, I can overlook … Read more
You can always find an excuse if you look hard enough. It’s better to outrun those circumstances in your life that seem to set you back. Author Larry Winters shares a funny illustration in his book, Live The Dream: No More Excuses. A store owner was about lose his business due to slow sales. It’s … Read more
Summers fly by. And if life is going to indeed be that busy, we need to switch to thinking about how we are investing our time. It’s no longer about looking for something to fill our time. It’s now about which of these things are going to make the most impact in our lives and … Read more
Guardrails along the highway give us the freedom to travel without going off the road and down a cliff or into water. My family enjoyed travelling across Tampa Bay on America’s 9th longest bridge, The Sunshine Skyway. I would never have considered driving across that 4-mile stretch without the protection of guardrails on each side. … Read more