NEW BELIEVER

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air, then opened its mouth to swallow both. As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, “Oh, my God! Help … Read more

CREATIVE ADVERTISING

A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established hair cutters’ place. They put up a big bold sign which read: “WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!” Not to be outdone, the old master barber put up his own sign: “WE FIX SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!”

HIDDEN FEE

A lawyer’s dog is having a great time running around the neighborhood unleashed — it heads directly to the butcher shop and pilfers a roast. The butcher heads over to the lawyer’s office and asks, “If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand … Read more

TRICK QUESTION

Little Johnny asks the teacher, “Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven’t done?” Mrs Roberts is shocked, “Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair.” Little Johnny is relieved, “Okay, Mrs Roberts, good to know. By the way, I didn’t do my homework last night.”

MISTAKE

One day, an employee received an unusually large check. She decided not to say anything about it. The following week, her check was for less that the normal amount, and she confronted her boss. “How come,” the supervisor inquired, “you didn’t say anything when you were overpaid?” Unperturbed, the employee replied, “Well, I can overlook … Read more

DID YOU STUDY?

TEACHER: Why didn’t you study? STUDENT: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that are way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a … Read more

THANK YOU DEAR

A couple is watching the news.  They hear that a beautiful actress is marrying an athlete who’s famous for his lack of IQ and common sense. Husband: “I’ll never understand why the goofiest guys get the most attractive wives!” Wife: “Why thank you, dear!”

PARKING METER

On a visit to Boston, I noticed a parking meter with a paper sack over it upon which was written: “Broken.” A skeptical parking officer removed the bag, inserted a quarter in the meter and turned the dial. It worked perfectly. As the officer began to write a parking ticket, the car’s owner rushed out … Read more