CANARIES

There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler, at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. After seeing this at several intersections in a row the motorist followed him until he pulled into a parking lot. When they both had … Read more

BIRTHDAYS

My four-year-old son told me that it was his stuffed animal’s birthday today.  Since this was probably the third birthday this animal had in about as many weeks, I commented that she seems to have a lot of birthdays.  He explained, “Well, the older you get, the faster they come!”

CARD GAME

A bunch of men were sitting around playing cards.  “I win!” said Harry. Joe threw down his hand, “That’s it! I’ve had it! Harry is cheating!!!” “How can you tell?” Phillip asked. “Those aren’t the cards I dealt him!”

SHOPPING

Debra was shopping at a produce stand in her neighborhood. She approached the vendor and asked, “How much are these oranges?” “Two for a dollar,” answered the vendor. “How much is just one?” she asked. “Sixty cents,” answered the vendor. “Then I’ll take the other one,” said Debra.

TEST

A professor stood before his class of twenty senior organic biology students, about to hand out the final exam. “I want to say that it’s been a pleasure teaching you this semester. I know you’ve all worked extremely hard and many of you are off to medical school after summer. So that no one gets … Read more

SUPPLIES

I used to work in an art supply store. We sold artists’ canvas by the yard, and you could get it in either of two widths: 36 inches or 48 inches. Customer: “Can you please cut some canvas for me?” Me: “Certainly, what width?” Customer (confused and slightly annoyed): “Um, scissors??”

SIGN

The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand-new business much like his own opened up next door to his left and erected a huge sign which read … BEST DEALS. He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading … LOWEST PRICES. The shopkeeper … Read more