I’ve been reading a great book called “It’s Your Kid, Not A Gerbil” by Kevin Leeman. If you have kids at home, this is one book I recommend.
A byproduct of our hyper scheduled culture is lack of time at home. Though meaningful conversations can take place in the car between scheduled activities, it seems like we’re losing a grip on building a heart for home. Kid’s long to be at home with family, with plenty of unscheduled and unhurried time. But, through the schedules we set, we’re teaching out kids to build their heart outside the home – through other groups, classes, peers, friends, activities and the list goes on. None of these are bad, unless stacked together into a endless rat-race leaving no white space on the calendar.
Our family struggles with this same thing – how many nights can we be away from home and still be able to build into our young daughters with some unhurried home time? Depending on the time of year, Monday – Thursday is totally maxed out morning to night. And most weekends are too. Even with the freedom of home education and flexibility of mornings and afternoons, it’s not always easy.
The goal isn’t to turn our kids into hermits – but to build a relationship that helps them become adults who can withstand the pressures and storms of life.
One example in this book comes when kids, as they get older, are confronted with the temptation to “drink this, smoke that, snort this, do that.” If the child has the kind of deep bonding with her family, she will respond confidently, “I’m a Price and we don’t do those things.” She may not say it in those terms, but it’s a rock solid commitment because the relationships at home outweigh the temptations in that moment.
I realize there are no fool proof answers to raising kids who live successful lives, but this book inspires me to think of cultivating the kind of bonded home life that helps my daughters grow in confidence. I want them to be connected to us as parents and the home in a way that temptations such as these seem counterfeit to the bright life they can have.
This sort of connection and confidence takes time – lots of evenings, lot of popcorn, lots of laughs, lots of time on the floor playing games, building forts, and imagining.
And it may require some purging – if there is no time at home, rearrange. Reconfigure your work schedule, chop off activities from your calendar, set limits on how many things your child needs to be involved in each semester.
Though activities, extra work, more groups, and lots of teams and clubs may help your child in some small ways, it can never replace the confidence that comes from bonding with their family at home.
I want my daughters to grow up knowing that they are Price’s and that we are behind them, cheering them on to become all that God wants them to be. For them to know that is going to take some time.
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