A giant thread runs through scripture showing us how marriage declares God’s majesty and commitment – from Adam’s and Eve’s relationship being created in “our” image and being “very good” to Hosea’s call to marry Gomer to demonstrate God’s undeserved faithfulness to his faithless, yet beloved, people.
I recently re-read the book “Sacred Marriage“ by Gary Thomas. I received this book as a gift a year into our marriage, and the tagline has stuck with me all these years – “What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?”
There are lots of unhappy people in the world, which is probably why broken marriages are so prevalent around us. A desire for holiness first will allow for more happiness in marriage in the long run.
I thought I would jot down a few things from this book before passing it along to someone else.
Model Christ’s Commitment
Sticking out your marriage sets an example of how much Christ loves the church, no matter how imperfect. There are moments, days, and seasons when one of you is going to be off. There will be grumpy times, “grr” moments, and total failures on the part of one or the other.
But as we uphold our commitment, sticking it out through thick and thin, mountaintops and valleys, we experience the example of Christ’s commitment to us, even as sinners. We also have the opportunity to model the promise of Jesus to give His life for each person, whether or not they are committed to him (John 3:16, Romans 5:8).
Explore God’s Grace Together
In a marriage, we have the privilege of knowing every detail of someone’s life. We experience their habits, thoughts, lifestyle, dreams, work, and gifts. Because we are familiar with the details, it may be easy for us to identify and focus on the rough edges. Studies have shown that love will blind us to those rough edges, but when the feeling of love gives way to the commitment of love, couples are likely to begin seeing the faults in one another.
If we are consumed with highlighting where our spouse has fallen short instead of focusing on exploring God, His character, and divine mysteries together, we can’t proclaim His existence to each other and the world.
I believe this is why it’s essential to pray, worship, and be together in faith. Marriage is a faith-filled, God-designed institution and a witness to the world.
Men – Keep God First And Keep Your Marriage Together
The author contends that men have the Christian duty of keeping their marriage together. The spiritual discipline in marriage is to keep your relationship with God first, then give up your life for your spouse as you serve her. Love and serve your wife. And for young men who aren’t married yet, this huge shift begins before you are married.
Showing God’s Love To The World
We show our love for God by loving our spouse well. Marriage creates a climate where love is put to the most significant test. Kids learn what it means to love God and others by watching the marriage of their parents. Others around us learn what it means to forgive, serve, and cherish by watching our relationship with our spouses. We want our marriages to show God’s love to the world.
As I read this book I was inspired again to remember that our marriage is a significant aspect of life – for us and for the world around us.
You can pick up a copy of Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas here.
