Marriage – From Honeymoon to “The Best Is Yet To Be”

Marriage is interesting. I’m fortunate enough to have seen many solid examples of faithful marriages my whole life, including my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and members of our church family. I recently attended a couple of weddings and witnessed the beginning of new homes and families. I’ll be a part of another young couple’s wedding in a few short weeks. On Sunday, I learned of one couple who has been together 25 years and another who is approaching 60 years of marriage.

I once read a great book: The 10 Commandments of Marriage by Ed Young. In it, he describes the three stages of a marriage:

1. Honeymoon Stage

Marriage brings a change of pattern to each person. It’s not easy to readjust your habits and lifestyle. So the honeymoon stage is needed to smooth out the bumps and help a couple settle in. (Incidentally, one big reason that pre-marriage “live-in” situations often fail is because they miss making a commitment and assume it won’t work out once things go wrong,) During the honeymoon stage, things seem too good to be true. To the wife, the husband is perfect. In the husband’s eyes, the wife can do no wrong.

2. “The Party’s Over” Stage

Though this stage may seem tough, it’s necessary to help bring about the reality that no one is perfect and commitment requires work. Wives notice that their husbands have a few flaws. Husbands begin to pick at what their wives say and do. It can be hard to keep the passion alive with schedules, bills, housework, and kids. At this stage, couples have a choice – settle in and resolve to live with it; throw in the towel and divorce; or move past it into the final stage.

3. “The Best Is Yet To Be” Stage

In this stage, Ed Young describes “mature love,” the kind of love found in 1 Corinthians 13. Mature love is one that knows about the flaws and loves anyway. Nothing can destroy this kind of love. This stage is an opportunity for couples to use their marriage as a witness to God’s faithfulness. It brings with it knowledge and freedom, knowing “we’ll stay together” even through tough times. It also brings a sense that each day in the future will be better than the day before – that the best is yet to come.

I’m praying for a continued third stage in my own marriage to my beautiful wife, Suzanne.