Two Types Of People
There are two types of people in this world:… Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
Quaker Robbery
A burglar broke into the home of a good Quaker gentleman.
From upstairs, the Quaker heard the noises below and realized there was an intruder.
He took his hunting rifle to the top of the stairs and announced: “Friend, I mean to do thee no harm, but where thou standest is where I am about to shoot.”
Morning
Somebody has well said that there are only two kinds of people in the world: There are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good morning, Lord,” and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good Lord, it’s morning.”
Florida
Two airheads in California are sitting outside on a cool, clear evening,looking at the moon and talking.
One asks: “Which do you think is farther away … Florida or the moon?”
The other replies (with eye-roll): “Hellooooooooooo! Can you see Floridafrom here??”