We want our children to know how to foster good relationships without compromising their values whether they are connecting with acquaintances, classmates, or others they encounter in life.
I’ve been reading Full Circle Parenting by Jimmy and Kristin Scroggins; and the authors have great suggestions that work with both mandatory relationships your kids may not enjoy, and connections with friends, teammates, and others.
Here are four ways to coach your kids:
1. Coach your kids to avoid being judgmental
We don’t want our kids to be preachy towards other kids. We can coach them to remember that not everyone believes the same way, acts the same way, or has the same home life that we have. We want to love others, even if we don’t always hang around them. Parents should not talk bad about other kids – even with the one-sided stories we hear from our children – since doing so encourages our kids to act the same way and say the same things.
2. Coach your kids to find neutral ground
All life requires interactions with people we may not resonate with. We need to find neutral ground – things we can talk about if needed. This is often called small talk. It can be about non-consequential things like classes, projects, teachers, activities, movies, weather, or anything we have in common.
3. Coach your kids to bring activities to their turf
It’s always nice to control the setting by inviting acquaintances, team members, classmates, and others you may not know to your own turf — either your home or another place you select. This allows you to control the media, games, conversation, food, and time block.
4. Coach your kids to enjoy the best things from their interactions without focusing on shortcomings
One of the best things you can do is to find the good about each interaction. If your child has to hang out at the bus stop with a group of students, coach him/her to enjoy the best of the situation more than the shortcomings of kids with whom he/she may not connect.
These are great bits of advice for raising Christian children as well as parents themselves. In a world that keeps getting more and more polarized, Christians need to lead the way in joyful living as we interact with those around us.
